Why Men Pull Away: The Early Stages
It is like a magic trick. For weeks you are dating a man who seems into you. He calls and tries to make plans to see you. Your time together is lovely and enjoyable and you are even making small plans for the future when *poof* he magically falls off the face of the planet?
It’s Not You, It’s Me: And Other Signs of Distance
Unfortunately, too many women have experienced this sleight of hand and while the distance is often easy to spot- the reasons for it may not be.
Here are six small reasons why you and your man might be seeking distance- and possible solutions to the problem! These are easier to detect during the early stages of your relationship; before he pulls away for good.
One Of You Is a Stage Five Clinger
Remember: healthy space is good for a relationship. You each need time with your friends and opportunities to pursue outside interests. If your man goes MIA after you have tried countless times to get a hold of him to book up his weekend, he might be looking for the exit door. You do not need to smother him. If he is into you, he should be putting in effort as well. Hang back and enjoy the freedom.
He Lacks Relationship Skills
Being in a serious and healthy relationship is an acquired skill. It takes hard work and communication and many of us have to learn these skills as we have experiences and make mistakes.
If your guy has never been in a serious relationship before he might not understand the effort it takes to keep it afloat. If he is inexperienced chances are that he is scared to make the wrong move. If he takes flight and doesn’t return, you might need to hang up the towel. You want someone who will fight for you, right?
Sexual Attraction Might be Fading
Most people are sexually attracted to their partner long before they even have a conversation with them. After several months of excitement, the hormones wear off and you might be asking yourself why you were attracted to this person in the first place. If you feel like the chemistry is fading outside of the bedroom, he might be feeling the same way.
He Might Be Seeing Someone Else
Let’s not totally jump to conclusions! But, if you haven’t decided to be exclusive, this can be a reason. Among his absence you will also find him taking unannounced calls, canceling plans, or making bizarre excuses for his lateness. If the distance is killing you and he doesn’t want to change, it might be time to cut the cord.
Work Is Demanding
If your boyfriend is dealing with a situation at work, he might just be distracted. Relationships are hard, but so is work. Men do not have the same capacity to multi-task. He probably hasn’t even noticed that he’s been more absent if this is the case. A calm conversation might be in order and, if you can suggest some solutions for special dates or times together, it will probably be fine.
You Are Ready for Something Serious, He’s Not
If you have recently talked a lot about your future plans and he nodded silently in, what you thought, was agreement, you might have rocked the boat.
And that’s okay.
If you know that you want something serious, there is no reason to hide that from the world. You should put those vibes out there because there are plenty of men who are looking for that type of relationship.
However, your current boyfriend might not be one of them. Most of the time, you can have a square conversation about it but be prepared to wish him luck and walk away if you do not see eye to eye.
Truth be told: there are a lot of reasons that a man might be distancing himself from you. Now is the time to assess the importance of the relationship and how you want to tackle the problem.
Sometimes a little bit of space can help you put the relationship into perspective. If he is Mr. Right, he’ll come back and be ready to talk. If you use this time wisely, you can have a thought-out response that answers his questions while still expressing how you feel.